Zippy

Zippy was honorably inducted by the Staff of the Speedrun Hall of Fame (2022).

“I don’t talk much because I don’t like to show off,” Zippy told us, shyly avoiding eye-contact, when we sat down with them to discuss the honor that the Speedrun Hall of Fame has bestowed upon them.  “I know I’ve had a great career, but it’s not about me.  It’s about the future.  It’s about the new folks in our great community.”  They smiled softly, then a single tear fell from their eye.  “I just want them to remember us.”

The Speedrun Hall of Fame is proud to present our first Hall of Famer, Zippy!  We had the distinct honor of a full, candid interview with them to discuss their life, their struggle to reach the top, and the pressure that is put on them to uphold a reputation and continue to be a positive influence on the speedrun communities across the Internet.

“The good thing about being made of metal, is that I can take the pressure!” they laughed when we asked them about it.  “I might get a little tarnished over time, but the great part of being me is that a little elbow grease and some polish, and the rust comes right off!  Tell me, do you know of any speedrunner that can derust that easily?”

Though they do know the day they were born on (August 16), Zippy themselves do not know what year they were born in.  Long ago, they recall some feats that have been handed down through the generations, that many might say Zippy couldn’t have done.  Through many helpful inventions, feats, and public appearances, they’ve cured diseases, explored alternate dimensions, and even fixed our timeline when we lost the lizard wars…. oh wait, we weren’t supposed to talk about that (sorry Zippy)!

“I remember my first world record,” they said during our interview.  “It was back in 1945.  The day the United States dropped the bomb on Berlin.”  When I told them that Berlin was never attacked by an American nuclear bomb, they winked slyly and said, “exactly.”

I have to admit, a lot of the claims Zippy made during our interview were far-fetched, to say the least, but I cannot help but feel in awe around them.  A list of achievements that would make Mario blush, Zippy has definitely made their mark on video gaming history, and world history as a whole.

“A lot of what happened in the past for me, is a giant blur…” It was sad to see the melancholy look on Zippy’s face as they told me this; they’re always such a cheerful little statue gamer god.  “The first thing I really clearly remember is the 1990 Nintendo World Championships, where I was far and away the favorite to win the whole thing… but then I was disqualified for being 2,308 years over the age limit.”

Zippy’s achievements list would fill an entire new internet.

The 1990’s and 2000’s were a blur to Zippy.  And who can blame them?  When you are the biggest celebrity in history, it’s bound to go to someone’s head.  But Zippy stayed grounded.  “I do remember meeting Will Smith on the set of “The Fresh King of Beverly Hills,” which was a hit show at the time.  He pulled this thingy out of his jacket pocket and said, this will erase everyone’s memory if you point it at people.”  Zippy claims that they used this device when they heard that the Antarctic empire wanted to crown Zippy as King.  “I decided, enough was enough, I just wanted to play video games!”  And according to them, everyone on Earth’s memory was erased in an instant.

“It was at this point, I decided to start new.  I wanted folks to remember me for my video game prowess.”

However, the effects of the flashy-thingy were bigger than they anticipated.  Their memory was erased as well!  “It took years to remember who I was.  I was adopted by this wonderful family, and they had an NES.  And one night, they were playing NES.  I think it was ‘Rush’n Attack’?  Anyways, they finished and put the controller on the mantle next to me.  That evening, a lightning bolt struck the house, and I was hit with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity.  I saw time.  I tasted temperature.  I felt the past, and bled the future.  The world was mine.  And a flash of light went through my subconscious.  It was like going through a wormhole.  I saw the infinite.”

It was at that instant that Zippy, using the new pseudonym “TAS” (to avoid the spotlight, as well as to avoid folks remembering their past accolades), began to speedrun again.  And it was at that moment, playing every single game all at the same time, that “TAS” became the world record holder in every single video game… of all time.

“I don’t mean to brag, but I didn’t have to try very hard,” they cackled, trying their best to remain humble.  “It’s honestly not fair to humans.  I have the reflexes of a cat; the eyesight of an owl; the memory of a… oh, um… what was it called again?”
(Elephant)
“…oh!  Yes, thank you!”

Though Zippy has held records in every game, including the future 3rd entry of the “Breath of the Wild” series of Zelda games, as well as the popular 2031 entry, “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for Switch U 2032: Special Samus & Mike Jones from Startropics Edition”, they still remember their roots.  “I prefer the NES.  I love the simple controller, the creative programming, and the challenge!”  Asked what their favorite games are, they said Barbie, Gargoyles, and RoboCop (the latter because they claim he controls like a statue). They also love Astyanax, and games like Conan which people claim only the TAS can speedrun, “which always makes me chuckle,” Zippy giggled to us.

Their reputation speaks for itself.  Of course, many others attempted to capture Zippy’s magic, including the dastardly TASbot which has appeared at AGDQ.  “I asked the games committee of GDQ why they won’t allow a statue to run, and they said to me, ‘you need to submit a game to be in the marathon’!  Can you believe it?  They told me that?  I SPEEDRAN GDQ BEFORE GDQ EVEN EXISTED!”

Today, Zippy is happily enjoying retirement.  With 13,960 speedrun world records, they were so adept at their games that Galaxy had to split, creating Twin Galaxies in the early 1980s.  “There was this guy there talking about the human element, and I was like, bruh.  I can’t do this, and I’m a literal mystical statue!”  That said, the 5.51 record that lives on in notoriety was indeed achieved by Zippy in 1983.  “I didn’t submit it because back then, the internet didn’t exist.  So I emailed it to the future and I’ll submit it in 2176, when the Quadrennial celebration of the United States of America makes me the head float of the parade.”  They relax daily now, encouraging other speedrunners out there to do their best and achieve their dreams.  “I know it’s not fair chasing my deeds, but it’s hard to live up to ‘TAS’.  Don’t compare yourselves to the best until you’re ready.  Until then, just have fun, do your best, and always finish every single run that you don’t reset.”

Zippy was happily inducted into the Speedrun Hall of Fame on Thursday, November 10, 2022.  They were the first ever Hall of Famer.  You can catch them live, hosting events and more at twitch.tv/speedrunhalloffame where Zippy is always behind the scenes, wishing the best for every speedrunner out there!